Miss You

Autumn is making

Its way to the trees,

And half of a lonely

September agrees.

But in my hard hurting

Mind I can see.

That if I fall

It won’t be with the leaves.

If one more minute

Life would allow

I’d tell you to cherish

Forever and now

Time given to you.

Love given in need.

But forget moments

That aren’t yours, I plead.

I gave you so much

Just give me back this:

The pleasure, the bruises,

And each treasured kiss.

My Turn

When my turn comes

-I know it will-

I’ll mask a smile

Walk over the hill

When my turn comes,

Right down the road

I’ll kick my shoes

And drop my load

When my turn comes,

If then or now,

I’ll race the wind;

Make willows bow.

When my turn comes,

Maybe today

Pay your respects

I’ve naught to say.

Shadow of Death

Time has rendered the moon's rings soft 

The clock is ticking in heaven's loft

Below, the cool lit wintry scape

Crouches with its mouth agape.

The mountains stark against the sky

Obscure the depths from traveler's eye.

The valleys covered o'er with mist

The moonbeams fail their earth - bound tryst

Stars are hidden; their pulsing heat

Lends no aid to wandering feet.

Cold increasing- no warmth is left.

Courage ceasing- of hope bereft.

The forest cowers under moaning wind

Deceitful strains to peace rescind.

Vilest valley, shade of death

Stealing faith and stilling breath.

I’ve Been Thinking Lately

I’m pretty sure that all I can do

Is make an effort to pray for you

I can’t make you feel loved

I can’t make you try

I just hope you don’t hurt

‘Cause I would know why.

I’m lonely whenever

I think about you

I thought I knew you

And maybe I did

But maybe you’ve changed

Or maybe you hid.

I try to redeem you

With good memories

They come slowly and few

Some are lowly and dark

But I understand

That they’ve hit their mark.

My pride for this life

Has slowly died in our strife

Invincibility of childhood

Has failed my heart

I remember enough

To go back to the start

The pain that I live with

The hurt that endures

May only grow stronger

May fade with the years

I just hope you know

Love runs with my tears.

Monument

I don’t want a square one that will sink into cold ground

I do not want a tower above a sinking mound

I don’t want a palace or a choir singing ‘round

I want to be the ocean, I hear the peaceful sound.

I don’t particularly care for all the black that people wear

I guess it’s ‘cause I know that I’m going somewhere fair.

Don’t put me in a grave where the rain will wet my hair

Just set my heart aflame, with love, and lift me to the air.

Instead of carrying me slowly down into a black earth hole,

Instead of making me a monument to show my lowly role,

Make my monument the sky and my resting place the sea

Make your tears a celebration; your words my memory.

Towel

Step, and lock the door.

Lose my balance and sit down.

I reach out, throw my hands,

Asking for invisible hands to catch,

My hands land on the floor.

My towel hangs on a hook.

I wish for it to envelop

To return my hug

As I shake, shake and sink.

My eyes are green with dry tears.

Saintpaulia

~2005~

Saintpaulia sitting on the sill, how beautiful you are!

Growing there since I was a babe, but never said "au revoir."

What is your secret oh bud of my youth? “Patience by God alone.

“Tastefully seeking for water of life, for God, I have grown.”

~2014~

Saintpaulia, you died; you have slowly given up the faith.

I never thought you would, my dear, I thought you’d always stay.

“Not given up the faith, my dear; your faith should be in God.

None can live forever here, but by His faithfulness I’m awed.”

Years have torn it from bitter hands, Saintpaulia my dear,

Yet so in death you still remained without a trace of fear?

You’re dead and I have wretched life; you’re awed and I’m a mess;

And yet you teach me, nature’s queen, of God and nothing less.

Let others do what they may do, I know what’s right and wrong.

I plan on taking what you’ve said, I’ve known it all along.

You grew up with me; you knew the truth I’d have to see.

Truth imparted, your purpose done - now no more you’ll be.

Winter

I don’t remember the order of days.

I can’t start to see a way through this maze.

Forget me, forget me, I’ll just fade away.

My promises passing away in the haze.

Sky-tall it seems to stand up like doom.

At bright cotton clouds, its flurries they loom.

I can’t stand up tall in this minuscule room.

I'm finally realizing the world’s a tomb.

Dismay me, I dare you. I dare you to move.

I can’t even cry and I have nothing to prove.

There is nothing worse; can nothing improve?

Except for my life, to snuff or remove.

Prepare yourself, darling, I’m leaving my clay.

I don’t mean to leave you in any dismay.

I pray understanding won’t lead you astray,

But lead you to memories upon which to prey.

Performing this life-long skit isn’t for me.

I moved off from palaces and on to debris.

I’d rather not fake, and I don’t want to flee.

But there is nothing here that I can foresee.

I’m framing a picture of me in your mind.

Pretend that I’m smiling, or perhaps that you’re blind.

Pretend that I’m free, instead of tightly confined.

Pretend I’m remaining, not leaving you behind.

I didn’t mean to.

I’m sorry I did.

It wasn’t for you;

Farewell I bid.

I drew this on my biochemistry notes...

The Messengers

I looked up to the blue above, to a flock of silent birds,

Their whiteness dimmed by only light

Their flight a shadow in my sight

I asked if weakness, they could take. They flew without a word.

I looked up again, to ask, to beg, to see if they would share

Their lovely little bit of air

Their basking glory, naught despair

I asked if they would take me up to see and be aware.

Ignored, but patience creased my brow, to wait for one to hear

And fluttered on the white wings south

I brought my hand up to my mouth

I whispered, “take my soul to Him” and then my vision cleared.

Perhaps that’s why I like snow so much

If you need me I’ll be hanging out in a tree,

Or laying in the snow and watching stars with frozen eyes.

Tasting all the chemicals I find that I can see,

Or maybe I’ll just be praying that I’d die.

If you want me don’t start to look where I should be

Don’t look for DNA or my carbon in the ashes.

I might be alone now, I might be at home

Or maybe I’m a goner somewhere where you can’t come.

I might be on the roadside, hit and run, or better, roadkill

I might be a little thinner at the bottom of a cliff.

I might be in my car, and you’ll never know

If I did it on purpose- or if it was a car malfunction.

If you want to find me, don’t ask me any questions,

Save your breath for saying goodbye,

Farewell, to my cold, dead corpse.

Perhaps that’s why I like snow so much.

Beyond the Clay

I cannot see beyond the clay

That You have made aware

I reach my hand beyond today

Beyond my deadened stare.

If peace is plentiful beyond

I ask that You might share

A piece of that, which You’re so fond,

And show me that You care.

I’m sorry for my doubting heart,

My lack of faith or hope.

From You, I can’t live life apart

Without, I wouldn’t cope.

I’m standing on my battle ground

Alone except for You

But are You here and all around?

You’re not within my view.

Break me if You want to; show me!

Don’t let me have control.

Break my life down ‘til I agree

Then build me to be whole.

 

Bloom

A copse, a wood, I named.

I named her Bloom for flowers

Trace her scarcely shroud

Cleave from its high-born frost

Misty, sheltered, framed;

A valley, soft rain showers.

Peers the sun behind the cloud,

The hillside in mountain lost.

Be My Last Thought Today

Be My Last Thought Today

Be in everything I do,

Be the whispers that I pray,

Be in the morning dew

Be my last thought today

I’m willing that You take

Every moment that You give

I want to know you more,

For only You do I live.

Be my only vision,

Be my saving grace

Be kindness through my touch

I’ll stay in Your embrace.

I’m throwing all away,

That life you might restore.

Please come and resurrect;

My spirit, make it Yours.

Be my only passion,

Be in my work and play,

Be in my countenance,

Be my life every day.

Let me hear You every minute,

Let me sing Your songs each day.

Let me love who You love,

Let me shine for You I pray.

Be a saving ray of hope

Be my righteousness, my stay.

Be peacefulness around me,

Be my last thought today.

Fall

 

Summer is dying.

I hear the voices that thrilled the air fading into chilled echoes that carry farther but leave the listener with a shiver that reminds of the hard seriousness of the near grave.

I see the clouds get thinner and higher as if shrinking back and mixing with the blue of the sky to hide from the cold that is sure to come and grip them with fingers of steel and carry them to the ground to land in piles of pure white upon every lawn and rooftop.

I feel the bite of the fresh wind as it laughs by my ears and whistles through the city streets, catching every blind and deaf fool and tossing their hair like the thoughts of a troubled artist and the leaves that tumble across every road, piling against each dirty curb.

I smell the fruit of harvest, and the fields rotting in the rain that keeps driving and streaming, beating a rhythm that will set the pace for a busy winter of stamping feet and hearts beating harder as if trying to exist through a long cold night.

Call Me Up

Call Me Up

Sitting at your feet in dingy robes

Faded, ripped and torn from life and sin

Without the river, without love or hope

Will it ever flow in me again?

Pressure on my shoulders- bow my head

Shame dripping from my bared dirty mind

What will You say? My heart full of dread.

To kick me as a dog would be as kind.

I wait, and wait for you to speechify

I wait for judgment, hopelessness I feel.

I sense your eyes upon me up so high

So lift my head in silence as I kneel.

But you aren’t angry as I had supposed

Your eyes are kind, shining with your tears.

A wave of subtle hope and sweet repose

And rivers break down walls composed of fears.

Joyous love, I see forgiveness gleam

From your white and shining holy being.

And from your face a blazing glory beam

I can not stand; your face I am seeing.

Now you take my hand- with your hands of steel.

Your strength flows into me with every touch.

You break the barriers and every wound you heal,

You transform me, how could it be you love so much?

My Friend

I knew it would happen, we’d carry apart

The halves of our lives which had not had a start

I knew that I loved you, but wouldn’t admit

Though you always said we were a perfect fit

Someday I will realize the reasons for this,

But right now I only see what went amiss.

I tried to say no, and because you were there

It was always easy to just enough care.

I used your heart badly, for only my good

You pushed me ‘til I began thinking I should.

I told you everything, and you did the same

We tried to be friends but it ended a game.

I miss you already, and I’m sad to say bye.

I guess that we will meet again in the sky.

The seasons will go by, but always I’ll see

Your face in the sunshine, smiling at me

Dawn

 

I never knew the Dawn to be so fine

As when dear Rest and Peace afford their time

To save Ungodly Hour’s disliked repute,

And ember glow to not leave destitute.

 

But should they not appear as so desired,

And leave instead our hearts in fear and tired,

We won’t awake again at break of day,

Instead, we’ll close our eyes; wish Light away.

 

And as the black Night ceases, fades to gray,

As small nocturnal beings fade away,

As silky pre-dawn Mist beholds its end,

As bow the Shadows to Light’s arm extend,

 

When maternal bird maintains her song,

Makes clear her notes to tell of tales long,

'Til when the Sun has climbed to full bright face,

And ill of Sorrow’s night has left no trace,

 

Our sleep will keep an air of sweet sunrise,

And build a bridge of Life to Dreams to Skies,

But Dawn will have no audience to see,

How bright its entrance to the day will be.

The Only Way

Is singing the only way to

Vocalize the harmony

To someone else’s melody?

Is laughing the only way

To vocalize the joy you’ve felt

When someone’s love comes your way?

Is crying the only way

To let the tears flow

Out of your heart, bring healing?

Is asking the only way

To let them know

You’re wondering, and find out?

Is loving the only way

To make their guard come down,

And show them that you care?

Is trying the only way to  

Fail in your misery- then succeed

 And triumph over failure?

Is forgiving the only way

To let it go, bring freedom,

To a lasting friendship?

Is faking the only way

To mask the fear that’s

Hidden in your eyes?

Photo taken by Krystle Morrill



Dewdrop

Someone told me I was a dewdrop-

Hanging off a twig.

I looked at it- It sparkled;

Did a lovely dancing jig.

Someone told me I was a dewdrop,

I heard "you’re just for now.

The shine will last til’ twilight,

Or til’ winds hit the bough."

Someone told me I was a dewdrop,

I saw that I was small,

They told me I was a dewdrop,

And watched me drip and fall.

Someone told me I was a dewdrop

I fell, but landed here.

I may be just a dewdrop

But at least I’m not a tear.

Remind Me

When the currents draw

Warm autumn winds their way

To scatter summer’s leaves

But beg that summer stay,

When simple steps of orphans

Whose lively hearts are cold,

Readily turn grown-up,

To sever from their mold.

When earth itself is trembling

From the sound of soldiers feet

And many more are coming

Mistakes again repeat.

Remind me who I am,

Who this stranger in me was

Remind me of a time

When it was “just because.”

Imagined Love

 

All imagination, she thinks he sees her light,

An image found her mind, and she saw without sight:

“Positively pleasant, her figure graced his mind.

Hatpins dripping hot sauce, a live and burning kind.”

Played a fool and abandoned freedom’s purity,

Dropped her handkerchief, now lives insecurity.

Dappled little countenance, poor embarrassed soul,

Don’t you think that maybe, it was not real at all?

Keep Me Thirsty

Keep me thirsty for water, dear,

Don’t let my head come up too high.

Fresh, to startle my dragging soul,

Brandish your love sword, but stand by.

Don’t kiss my undefiled lips,

Or touch my side to invite thrill

Only take my cold, loving hand

To warm my heart and love instill.



Picture taken by George Osborne III

Cirrus Delight

Catch my eye, cloudy day.

Only you make this beauty stay.

Without, the blue would be alone,

The sky would always stay like stone.

Stay here, wisps of smoke-gray light,

But move to dance in wind’s delight,

Form soft sun-soaked patterns, then,

Resist and sweep, to curl again.

Lift my eyes with your humble soft,

Then break and lift my chin aloft,

Let sunshine pour through white windows,

Then spread again, to make shadows,

Ride on, sail on, fly on,

To where destiny and peace,

Has called your lovely form to dwell,

Til destiny must cease.

Build and storm in

Hasty passion throws,

And leave the sky,

Through winter snows.

Rainy Morning

Woke up in the grey, new summer morning

Lying without worries on my pillow.

Rain leisurely drizzling, renewing life,

I watch and listen through open window.

Heat fallen, rain has cooled the parched earth;

Dust has been beaten down to clear the air.

The fields drink their fill, and still more it rains,

I’d rather it rain than the sky be fair.

I drink, with the fields as still I listen,

Of the incredible freshness renewed

The green is returning, breathing again,

The earth, at last, is with new life imbued.

Thank God for rain and His promises!!!

Tree Poem

If the sun no more shines its golden rays,

And moon no more reflects;

If notes and songs are no more sung;

Life is tears in all aspects,

May this tree stand, still strong and high,

To tell you this one thing:

My love for you reaches above the sky,

To you I’ll forever cling.

I LOVE YOU

Iron Ideas

I’m sorry boy, she has iron ideas

She needs a man whose strength is a support

I’m sorry, strength, you are still not enough,

She needs a man who’ll encourage, exhort.

I’m sorry, you’re still far from winning

She needs a man who has a godly heart.

I’m sorry but there is more I must say,

She needs a man who will never depart.

I’m sorry! Are you tired yet my dear?

She needs a man who will calm her fear.

I’m sorry, have you dropped yet to the ground?

She needs a man who will wipe every tear.

I’m sorry; you must hear these requirements

She needs a place of refuge, submission.

I’m sorry, but this is quite important-

Her heart must be your heart’s ambition.

Wait- I’m not sorry! You must be told.

These are the things in you she must behold.